"Official" Thread Assorted Funny $hit

On Scientology and L. Ron Hubbard

I wonder if John Travolta, Tom Cruise, and Kirstie Alley have read this?
I guess not, she gave them $5M a few years ago.....

The following excerpt was taken from a magazine called _Saturday Evening Wings_, which was printed for awhile in the 1970s. _Wings_ described itself as "Wings -- The New Age Satire Magazine". The issue this excerpt was taken from was the Nov.-Dec. '78 issue. It is of great interest, because Harlan Ellison, a rather famous science fiction writer, claims to have been present the night L. Ron Hubbard decided to write _Dianetics_.

Wings Interview: The Real Harlan Ellison (page 32).
Harlan Ellison is the author of over nine hundred stories. A third of them are science fiction, a third are fantasy. The rest are mainstream. "What I'm trying to do," he told fans at a recent science fiction convention, "is to create a body of work that spans all genre." He has won eight Hugo awards for his work in science fiction short stories and films, two Nebula awards from the Science Fiction Writers of America, an Edgar from the Mystery Writers of America, and three times received the Writers Guild of America award for Most Outstanding Teleplay.



On Scientology and L. Ron Hubbard:

Ellison: Scientology is bullshit! Man, I was there the night L. Ron Hubbard invented it, for Christ Sakes!

I was sitting in a room with L. Ron Hubbard and a bunch of other science fiction writers. L. Ron Hubbard was famous among science fiction writers because he was the first one to have an electric typewriter.

Wings: He claimed to have written _Dianetics_ in a weekend, and nobody can deny it.

Ellison: That's true. He wrote _Dianetics_ in one weekend, and you know how he used to write? He used to take a roll of white paper, like paper you wrap fish in. He had it on the wall, and he would roll it into the typewriter and he would begin typing. When he was done, he would tear it off and leave it as one whole long novel.

We were sitting around one night... who else was there? Alfred Bester, and Cyril Kornbluth, and Lester Del Rey, and Ron Hubbard, who was making a penny a word, and had been for years. And he said "This bullshit's got to stop!" He says, "I gotta get money." He says, "I want to get rich".

Wings: He is also supposed to have said on that same night: "The question is not how to make a million dollars, but how to keep it."

Ellison: Right. And somebody said, "why don't you invent a new religion? They're always big." We were clowning! You know, "Become Elmer Gantry! You'll make a fortune!" He says, "I'm going to do it." Sat down, stole a little bit from Freud, stole a little bit from Jung, a little bit from Alder, a little bit of encounter therapy, pre-Janov Primal Screaming, took all that bullshit, threw it all together, invented a few new words, because he was a science fiction writer, you know, "engrams" and "regression", all that bullshit. And then he conned John Campbell, who was crazy as a thousand battlefields. I mean, he believed any goddamned thing. He really believed blacks were inferior. I mean he really believed that. He was also very nervous when I was in his office because I was a Jew. You know, he was afraid maybe I would spring horns or something.

Anyhow, the way he conned John was that he had J. A. Winter, who was a doctor, who was a close friend of John's, and he got him to run this article on Dianetics, the new science of mental health.

Wings: Dianometry was the first article, I believe.

Ellison: Right. And science fiction fans will go for any goddamm thing. They'll believe anything, man, they will believe in the abominable snowman and the Bermuda Triangle, in Pyramid Power, in EST, in Scientology, in the Second Coming, they'll believe in any goddamm thing, they don't give a shit. They go to see _Star Wars_; they think it is for real!

So science fiction fans picked it up, they began proselytizing, he started making money, when he had made enough money he was able to spread out a little more, then he got more cuckoos, you know, pre-Charlie Manson assholes that had no place else to go, and he began talking to these loons as if _Dianetics_ really meant something. Then he wanted to get tax-exempt status, so he called it "The Church of Scientology".

Now, they've gotten so big that they own property all over the country, and it is impossible to stop it. They infiltrated the FBI, they infiltrated the tax department, ... the funny thing is, Ron Hubbard and I still occasionally communicate with each other. Every once in a while, a couple or three times a year, we exchange letters. And I write to him, you know, and I say, "Hey Ron, when is this bullshit going to cease? These cuckoos are really driving me crazy! They come around the house with pamphlets!" And he writes me back, and he says, "It's the good work, it's the good work."

It's all very funny stuff. He was going to write a new story for me for the last Dangerous Visions [his ground-breaking scifi anthologies - b.], but I guess he got too busy counting his money. I don't know.
Back when they were marketing the shit out of "Dianetics" book on TV, I got intrigued and bought it. Then I started reading it... and VERY quickly I thought to myself, "This is a bunch of absolute bullshit. Is this serious? What a joke!" So, I didn't get far into the book. And then I quit reading it.
 
It is with the deepest regret that I make the following declaration:

Another Great American Converts to Islam

It was announced today that Buckwheat, of Our Gang fame, has converted to The Muslim faith and changed his name to Kareem of Wheat.

I just hope he doesn't become a cereal killer. :D
 
Back when they were marketing the shit out of "Dianetics" book on TV, I got intrigued and bought it. Then I started reading it... and VERY quickly I thought to myself, "This is a bunch of absolute bullshit. Is this serious? What a joke!" So, I didn't get far into the book. And then I quit reading it.
Thank you for not drinking the Kool Aid.
 
When it's time to trade up...

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Back when they were marketing the shit out of "Dianetics" book on TV, I got intrigued and bought it. Then I started reading it... and VERY quickly I thought to myself, "This is a bunch of absolute bullshit. Is this serious? What a joke!" So, I didn't get far into the book. And then I quit reading it.
I once picked it up on a bookstore shelf to read the jacket flaps to try and see what all the hoopla was all about and quickly decided I'd read enough to know that book was a steaming pile of bullshit and walked away! :poop:
 
It was announced today that Buckwheat, of Our Gang fame, has converted to The Muslim faith and changed his name to Kareem of Wheat.

I just hope he doesn't become a cereal killer. :D
But I hear the wokies had his image removed from the box... :(

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Someone should tell her if she stays under water the chlorine will kill the virus...
🙄


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Maybe we can get Drew Cary to come out of retirement and host a show called..."Who's Gender Is It Anyway?" The show where facts don't matter and feelings are everything...
Too bad Jerry Springer is gone, this would have been a ratings topper for him.

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Get a free target with your pizza, or a free pizza with your target...

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What you are about to read is a true story.

One of my co-workers is a Navy SeaBee Vet.
At one point in his service, the Navy sends him to Iceland. This would have been in the late 80's, early 90's. He's telling a group of us at work about his first day there.
Upon arrival, everyone gets a lecture on the locals and their customs, including a bit of history, among other things.

They were advised that the locals free range their sheep and to be very careful driving. If you were to hit and kill one of these sheep the farmer would present a claim to the Navy for compensation, not just for the dead sheep, but for all the babies it might ever have from then on, this being their sole source of livelihood and all, the meat and the wool etc. So, the price tag for a single sheep was pretty high.

He then goes on to tell us some history that was part of the lecture. It seems that in WW2, Iceland was a major refueling point for Allied aircraft on their way to England. After the war, many of the women married US service men, seeing their chance to get off the rock. Some resentment of this fact by the locals still remained at the time of my buddy's time there. I couldn't help it and had to say..."Well, that explains the real reason the sheep are so expensive then, doesn't it?" :p
 
And the inflation and price increase are making us squeal like a pig...

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