Grey Man theory... my own take on it.

clm2112

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Not exactly a new topic for me, I've spent most of my life sortta blending in to the crowd. For an IT guy, it is really easy. Back at the start of my career, we were all assumed to be strange, pencil-neck geeks that nobody paid attention to anyway. By the end of my career, I was more of a digital janitor... constantly around to clean up the electrons some idiot up-chucked on the floor. But always the same, nobody cares that you exist until they do something stupid and need bailed out. Otherwise, you are invisible. Ahem, anyone wondering why I hung it up after 30 years?

But, this morning I ran across a pair of videos on screw tube discussing the idea of hiding in plain sight. And while the presenters made all sorts of recommendations about gear, they missed the most important thing of all... the persona you choose to adopt to hide in plain sight.

Lemme give you an example: So, you want to carry your gear in a concealed manner though a presumably crowded public area without drawing attention to yourself. I would suggest cultivating a persona of a person that needs to be carrying a bag full of gear in public. My old profession is a good example, what does your typical IT guy look like? Polo shirt with a company logo, jeans or dark colored work slacks, sneakers, ball cap, some kind of company issued ID on a lanyard, and a back pack or tool bag. If you look like that, you can pretty much glide though any urban area without anyone noticing you. If you don't actually work for one, no sweat, make up your own like a free-lance contractor.

There are other personas that you could adopt. Salesman, student, wanna-be athlete, academic, copier technician, electrician, and on and on. These are all personas that require you to lug gear around, and thus afford you the ability to hide your armed state in plain view. Someone eyeballs you, you look like a non-threat, and they loose interest.

The really important thing is to cultivate the persona based on your own life experience. I can blend in as a adult student, a tech technician, a civilian pilot, and probably an electrician. I know enough from life to speak like a professional in those personas, which means I can blow off the casual inquiries and go on my way. Whatever persona you choose, make sure you know enough to not sound like a fraud on the first casual question.... like "Hey Brother, I see the IBEW patch on your tool bag, what local are you with?"
 
In my view is mostly about dressing down.
Be polite to everyone you meet, everybody remembers an a'hole, nobody remembers the nice guy.
I usually avoid T-shirts with any sort of logo as they're easily remembered.
No sports teams, nothing political.
Especially no gun logo's or military stuff or 1776/III/2nd as that all identifies you as a shooter and very likely a 'carrier'. I save my camo or gun logo shirts for the range.
Hate to say it but it's almost a concealed carry uniform and you stick out like a sore thumb.
 
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A clipboard is easier to tote around than a ladder... just sayin. šŸ˜Ž
 
Great topic, very well presented too, thank you @clm2112 .
I would add that the way you carry yourself and present yourself also has a lot to do with blending in. If you LOOK like you don't belong, because you are nervous, scoping-out who might be looking at you, fidgeting with things, or acting like you shouldn't be where you are, people WILL pick up on that, at least to some extent. Consider the way you walk too... March like a soldier, someone will take you for one, when that doesn't match with your Hawiian shirt, you get noticed. Stalk around like 'a man on a mission', and someone will get scared that you are a threat. Watch your facial expressions too -practice looking relaxed if you have to -most of the time this shouldn't be a problem for most 'serious' carriers, because it has become a natural thing anyway, but especially when someone is just beginning to EDC, there can be a nervous strain of tension shown on the face -this draws unwanted attention. Take a deep breath, relax your facial muscles, and maybe even try to smile a little...

All of this can be overdone too... Depending on the circumstances and environment, there is a shifting line between looking casual and non-threatening, and looking like an easy target. The element of surprise when a bad-guy discovers that you have claws can be crucial, but looking like someone better left alone may prevent a problem before it even starts.
 
The Grey Man FAIL:
I promise you this is mostly how it happened.
Driving my wife around day before Xmas and everything and everyone is going crazy at the strip mall. Big Target store in the middle. Drop off my wife in front of a store and find a parking spot in this mayhem.
So I spot this guy:
Gets out of a raised new Jeep partial soft top with the mini pickup bed. Couple of ā€œbadassā€ stickers on the side. Big knobby tires. Sunglasses and heā€™s wearing a long sleeve button shirt over a T-shirt and heā€™s touching his belt area and straightening his shirt and as he gets walking he tucks in his left arm to stop the wind from blowing his outergarment up. Head swivels back and forth.
Dudeā€¦youā€™ve been made the moment you pulled up. This was so painfully obvious it made me chuckle.
Did make me decide not to wait for my wife but to walk into the store to get her.
 
In my view is mostly about dressing down.
Be polite to everyone you meet, everybody remembers an a'hole, nobody remembers the nice guy.
I usually avoid T-shirts with any sort of logo as they're easily remembered.
No sports teams, nothing political.
Especially no gun logo's or military stuff or 1776/III/2nd as that all identifies you as a shooter and very likely a 'carrier'. I save my camo or gun logo shirts for the range.
Hate to say it but it's almost a concealed carry uniform and you stick out like a sore thumb.
^^This^^

"Camouflage" means more than patterned black/ brown/ tan/ green.

/K
 
I always wear the same thing. Plaid, blue jeans, and cowboy boots. Went to NYC with the family once and of course left my carry gun at home. Random guy in Central Park yells at me that the gun range is across town. Apparently the same thing that I've worn for the last 30 years just screams "gun".
 
Dudeā€¦youā€™ve been made the moment you pulled up. This was so painfully obvious it made me chuckle.
Did make me decide not to wait for my wife but to walk into the store to get her.

Just another aspect of your persona to think through. Great, and humorous, example to trying too hard at looking like some wanabe operator type. Probably doesn't realize the message he is really sending out is "Hey, look at me, come steal my stuff."

Keeping your choice of transport fairly low-key sends a signal out to everyone around you.... ignore me, I'm nothing.

My personal choice is a older Subaru Outback. Not a rust bucket, but obviously worn. Probably had more "off-road" miles on it that a lot of the fancy Jeeps and off-road pickups people flash around. (Hey, it actually has been driven through a corn field on more than one occasion.) So nondescript that you wouldn't pay it a moments notice. And kinda screams "don't waste your time breaking into me, I've got nothing worth taking."

Humorous anecdote... I was sitting in the parking lot of a local grocery store a few years ago, waiting for my brother to get off work. Little old lady walks up to the passenger side of the car, throws her grocery bags in the back seat and hops in the front. "Lets go!".... "Ma'am, I think you have the wrong car".... "oh..I'm so sorry".... gets out of the car, gets her groceries, and heads for another gold Subaru in the row behind me. Ahem. I could see the embarrassed look on the face of the elderly man driving that car.... like perhaps this wasn't the first time she absent mindedly got into the wrong car.
 
Years ago I was on job related travel to Kansas. Got a pickup truck at the car rental counter at the Wichita airport.
Anything else would have stuck out like a sore thumb.
Iā€™m not always as successful as Iā€™d like to be but blend, blend, blend, blend into the background.
Cops profile, people with bad intentions profile, people with a little bit of training profileā€¦..
 
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And kinda screams "don't waste your time breaking into me, I've got nothing worth taking."
I saw a stand-up comedian do a bit... "I was walking down the street and saw a Yugo.... with "The Club." (For those not old enough to know what "The Club" is... It's a car anti-theft device that locks the steering wheel.) "So I broke into the Yugo and stole the Club."

ETA: I just realized that the same people who may not know what "The Club" is... probably also don't know what a "Yugo" is! LOL! It was a really cheap car made in (the former) Yugoslavia. It was a real piece of shit.

Little old lady walks up to the passenger side of the car, throws her grocery bags in the back seat and hops in the front. "Lets go!".... "Ma'am, I think you have the wrong car".... "oh..I'm so sorry".... gets out of the car, gets her groceries, and heads for another gold Subaru in the row behind me.

"Sure thing, babe. Where to?"
 
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