"Official" Thread Assorted Funny $hit

No shit!

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WOMEN'S LANGUAGE DECIFERED
--------------------------

Yes = No.

No = Yes.

Maybe = No.

We need = I want.

I'm sorry = You'll be sorry.

We need to talk = I need to complain about what you are doing.

Sure... go ahead = I don't want you to.

Is my butt fat? = Tell me I'm beautiful.

Do what you want. = You'll pay for this later.

I'm not upset. = Of course I'm upset, you moron!

Are you listening to me?? = Too late, you're dead.

You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me.

Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs.

You're so manly. = You need a shave and you sweat a lot.

Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive.

It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now.

You're certainly attentive tonight. = Is sex all you ever think about??

I'll be ready in a minute. = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV.

How much do you love me? = I did something today that you're really not
going to like.



MEN'S LANGUAGE DECIFERED
------------------------

I'm hungry = I'm hungry

I'm sleepy = I'm sleepy

I'm tired = I'm tired

Nice dress = Nice cleavage!

I love you = Let's have sex now!

I'm bored = Do you want to have sex?

What's wrong = I guess sex tonight is out of the question?

I love you, too = Okay, I said it... can we have sex now?

May I have this dance? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.

Can I call you sometime? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.

Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.

Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.

Will you marry me? = I want to make it illegal for you to have sex with
other guys.

You look tense, let me give you a massage = I want to have sex with you in
the next ten minutes.

Let's talk = I am trying to impress you by showing that I am a deep person
and maybe then you'd like to have sex with me.

I don't think those shoes go with that outfit = I am gay.
 
Bongo Lewi said:
This gets my best post of the week award. Who knew this was a sport?
Click to expand...
Might kinda sound like when we clothespinned playing cards to the forks and had them stuck in the spokes of our bicycles…the plastic coated cards were the loudest and lasted the longest….

Frrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrtrr
 
Remember when they said kids learning to spell wasn't important, as long as you know what they mean? Well that chicken has come home to roost..
This is supposed to say Worcestershire Sauce...just stick to McDonald's kid, don't apply at a steak house.
🧐



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no4mk1t said:
Remember when they said kids learning to spell wasn't important, as long as you know what they mean? Well that chicken has come home to roost..
This is supposed to say Worcestershire Sauce...just stick to McDonald's kid, don't apply at a steak house.
🧐



View attachment 27889
Click to expand...
Maybe it's NOT misspelled? ;)
 
So what's their campaign slogan going to be?
A low rider in every garage, and Michoacán in every pot?
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