"Official" Thread Assorted Funny $hit

[no4mk1t]

When you're not going to let that DUI cramp your date night...

 

[Viking2721]

This is the point in the relationship when you go from pretending you don't fart, to rating each other's for sound quality and fragrance...

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You left out the blaming it on the dog category

 

[Racer88]

When you're 11 and are putting off learning about regret until 16.
And you're 13 and have never traveled anywhere without cell coverage.
That thing we used to call common sense is now rare. And this is how it got there...

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A lot of kids don't even want to learn to drive. They think "uber" will get them everywhere.

My kids were not given a choice about such things.

 

[Racer88]

When you tell the sign painting guy to come up with something that will really make a "splash"...

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This one is real, too.

 

[NavyVette]

 

[no4mk1t]

Gee, I wonder how he voted?

 

[no4mk1t]

When you thought you've seen this guy before, but just couldn't put your finger on it...

 

[no4mk1t]

Hell, Rain Man could have told ya that just dumping them out on the floor...

 

[Ragwing]

 

[Ragwing]

Ooopsi, don't think I did that right.

 

[Racer88]

 

[Secret Squirrel]

LOL thats pretty much the truth!

 

[Secret Squirrel]

 

[no4mk1t]

I have the perfect name for this establishment... Doobies & Boobies!

 

[no4mk1t]

“And if you wonder who I be, it's me it's me, it's Ernest T.!”

 

[no4mk1t]

When you slip some "magic mushrooms into Sharon's spaghetti sauce just to see what crazy shit she comes up with...and we weren't disappointed.
X-Files writers:
Keep her high and you'll have enough material for the next 3 seasons...

 

[no4mk1t]

I think the old adage about live by the sword, die by the sword applies here...

 

[no4mk1t]

Build back better...

 

[no4mk1t]

Ruby & the Rangers, featuring Leningrad Lee...

 

[no4mk1t]

For every Ying, there's a Yang...