"Official" Thread Assorted Funny $hit

The Dynamic Double D Duo? It'll be tits!!
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A wild turkey strolls out of the treeline and charges me while I was walking around the yard. I think he was expecting me to run away but I just stood there. He stopped about five feet away, puffed himself up and stared at me. I could have shot him dead right there but I sort of admired his moxie. Nor did I feel like dressing it. I calmly walked away and he stood there for a minute like he won before strutting back into the woods.

I have never observed a wild turkey do this. Male or female. They usually avoid humans. I rarely see them on my property.
It was a bummer I didn’t have my phone in my pocket. I went back out there with my phone later and he was nowhere to be found.
 
I generally don’t shoot critters unless I’m going to eat them. I don’t have nuisance animal problems like coyotes or ground hogs. Rabbits in the garden has been rare.

I think this is the result of my clearing a radius all the around the house and outbuildings. No cover, motion detection and lighting. You feel very exposed in that area. Hawks and owls sit up in the surrounding trees waiting for a meal and coyotes are too smart to venture into that kill zone. I purposely did not plant ornamental shrubs and other plants around the foundation. There’s absolutely no place to hide within 50 yards of the house.

I see an occasional raccoon and opossums. The possums eat a lot of ticks and snakes so I welcome them. Coons eat just about anything the can find and I get a kick out of watching them try to figure out how to get in my trash cans.
 
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no4mk1t said:
Better hurry!
Some of your American Pie fan base is already getting Viagra prescriptions...

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She won't be in need of money after the first hour. On that note, never understood those who pay big money to see that kind of thing, nor do I understand those who frequent strip clubs.
 
When you get your mug shot taken in a onesie, and your street cred drops so low you have to change your rap name to Jester Harris... :ROFLMAO:

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Do they duke it out with rainbow pool noodles?
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