"Official" Thread Assorted Funny $hit

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Hillary and her chauffeur are driving through the countryside when suddenly an old cow runs out into the road and they collide. The chauffeur gets out and looks at the now very dead cow.

ā€œIā€™m going to walk over to the farmhouse and tell them about their cow, this shouldnā€™t take but a few minutes.ā€ He calls into the back seat. She just waves him away, and off he goes.

An hour later he comes back, his clothes disheveled, covered in lipstick and carrying a glass full of champagne, looking somewhat the worse for wear. Hillary is less than pleased. ā€œAnd just where have you been?ā€ She looks down her nose at her half drunk chauffeur. ā€œWell,ā€ he said, ā€œI knocked on the door, introduced myself and told them that I am Hillary Clintonā€™s chauffeur and Iā€™ve just killed the old cow. The next thing I know the old manā€™s giving me a cigar, his wifeā€™s filling a glass of champagne and his daughter is covering me with kisses, what could I do but enjoy the hospitality?ā€


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seniormoment said:
Hillary and her chauffeur are driving through the countryside when suddenly an old cow runs out into the road and they collide. The chauffeur gets out and looks at the now very dead cow.

ā€œIā€™m going to walk over to the farmhouse and tell them about their cow, this shouldnā€™t take but a few minutes.ā€ He calls into the back seat. She just waves him away, and off he goes.

An hour later he comes back, his clothes disheveled, covered in lipstick and carrying a glass full of champagne, looking somewhat the worse for wear. Hillary is less than pleased. ā€œAnd just where have you been?ā€ She looks down her nose at her half drunk chauffeur. ā€œWell,ā€ he said, ā€œI knocked on the door, introduced myself and told them that I am Hillary Clintonā€™s chauffeur and Iā€™ve just killed the old cow. The next thing I know the old manā€™s giving me a cigar, his wifeā€™s filling a glass of champagne and his daughter is covering me with kisses, what could I do but enjoy the hospitality?ā€


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President Bill Clinton looked out of the Oval Office window on a snowy day, and saw that someone had written in the snow with urine, "Bill Clinton Sucks!"

Enraged, he ordered the Secret Service to take samples and determine who did it.

They came back with the results.

"Mr. President, we've identified whose pee it is."

"Who did it??," demanded the President.

"The urine came from Jesse Jackson."

"I should have known it would be someone like him! Have him arrested!"

"Ummm.... sir. That's not the end of it."

"It's not?"

"No sir. It was Hillary's handwriting."
 
I don't do Starbuck's, but for those of that do, have some fun...

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